A bag with different things in it

 Are you liberated?  Have you ever been liberated?  Well, I have.

I sat here yesterday and got liberated when The Leader took up his gold Sharpie, the one personally blessed by Paula White-Cain, and scrawled lines and numbers on a map of the world.  And it was the cause of much merriment, followed by a drop of 1,200 in the stock market, where they have to take dementia seriously.  Fortunately there is no one there who personally experienced October 24, 1929.

At long last someone has had the courage to define "groceries."  "An old-fashioned term that we use:  groceries.  I used it on the campaign.  It's such an old-fashioned term but a beautiful term.  Groceries.  It says a bag with different things in it."

Person woman man camera TV.  Person woman man camera TV.  He's fine.  Person woman man camera TV.  Were you watching when The Leader began to wander off and had to be led back to the table to sign the executive order?  He's fine.  Not decrepit like Biden.  Person woman man...

China:  over 50%

South Korea:  25%

United Kingdom:  10%

India:  26%

Australia and New Zealand:  10%

Taiwan:  32%

European Union:  20% (25% on cars)

Canada:  25% on steel, aluminum, cars

Heard and McDonald Islands, Australian territory:  10% (population: 0, unless you count penguins)

Jan Mayan Island, Norwegian territory:  10% (population: 0, unless you count seabirds)

Nothing for Russia?  This is my shocked face.

The Senate Democrats and four Republicans have already voted to rescind some tariffs on Canada (the House are at home watching cartoons), but the damage has been done.  No reasonably sane country wants to trade with us or share intelligence with us or encourage its people to visit us.  Mission accomplished.  But at least we know what to call a bag with different things in it.

"Liberation Day is Buy Another Yacht Day for the swamp."  When did the Wall Street Journal become the Daily Worker without the cartoons?

But "life" goes on. 

As expected, the losers are complaining that the Wisconsin election was stolen.  It's unpossible for Elon's money to be defeated!  Pillow baron Mike Lindell led the pack, with Roger Stone hilariously claiming that Justice-elect Crawford's campaign was "illegally financed."  When you win with over 55 percent of the vote, the loser doesn't get a recount.  Bye-bye, western civilization.  You had your good points as well as your Crusades, witch burnings, pogroms, slave trade, misogyny, child labor, colonialism, apartheid, genocide, environmental destruction...where was I?

The Institute of Museum and Library Services used to employ 77 people to fund libraries and museums.  As of today, it employs none.  What was that about civilization, Kaptain Ketamine?  Do you love the poorly educated, too?  Over a thousand of those libraries were built by an immigrant named Carnegie who, like you, was once the richest man in the world.  Should I even go on?

You won't have read Charles P. Pierce today, Kaptain, so I'll hit the highlights:  "As near as I can tell, nobody likes this strange porcelain man.  His primary business venture has gone into the blind downward staggers.  And the man has the essential personal charm of a carcinogenic pesticide."  He's talking about you, Kap, and the likelihood that your sell-by date has passed in the aftermath of the Great   Wisconsin Repudiation.  "Who needs a friendless goofball dressed up like Zorro to decimate the government when you have people like Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., to do it piecemeal for you?"  For the record, you do not resemble Antonio Banderas, much less Tyrone Power, but good luck in your next weird, dipshit endeavor.

You may want to explore Hungary, where they practice your kind of politics.  Bibi Netanyahu is there for a visit and Viktor Orban has pulled the country out of the International Criminal Court so they can't arrest him while he's there.  It's so awkward when INTERPOL grabs your guest off the red carpet at the airport.

Ignore House Democrats and their invitations to campaign for their opponents.  They're having fun with you.  ("I'll pay for his coach flight" -- that Mark Pocan, what a card.)

The Leader has fired several members of his national security apparat, not for gross incompetence in handling war plans but because the woman with the purple hair told him they're disloyal.

Laura Loomer, arm candy during the campaign, appears to be stepping into the Musk vacuum even before Musk is gone.  Did you ever think you'd miss him?

The Naval Academy is obeying in advance (of a visit by well-oiled DefSec Pete Hegseth).  A display commemorating female Jewish graduates was removed earlier this week.  Since it was in the Commodore Uriah P. Levy Center and Jewish Chapel there was little likelihood of his seeing it, but the arrival of fascism has everyone on edge.  I'm sure he has no problem with Jewish midshipwomen.

This is why a lot of judges are reconsidering their career choices.  The Freedom from Religion Foundation wrote to Preacher Ryan Walters, Oklahoma school superintendent, to protest his policy of subjecting public-school students to Christian prayers over the intercom every day and now Walters is suing them.  The First Amendment has died in Oklahoma.  Don't mourn, organize.

Could the last liberal columnist at the Washington Post please turn out the lights?  Thank you, Eugene Robinson.  Mr. Robinson squarely blamed Trump-licker Jeff Bezos but the paper chose to treat his departure as "retirement."  They can't even be honest about that.  And yet...

"Those poor Post reporters are still trying so hard, and doing their very best in Bezos's word-sweatshop," Marcie Jones writes at Wonkette.  The Post has the story of The Leader's vengeful treatment of everyone in Maine because Governor Mills refused to kiss his ring like Bezos.  For instance, new parents would have to go to the Social Security office (if they can still find one) instead of registering the baby's birth in the hospital.  HHS, which is cutting jobs as if they were dandelions, tried to get people to say their daughters were suffering from the presence of transgender athletes (of which Maine has exactly one) at who knows what cost.  Maine's universities lost $35 million and its Marine Sea grant was cut by $4.5 million.  In reversing all of this the unexpected hero has been Susan Collins, who can get the guilty parties on the phone because they need her vote.  I guess that's why she keeps being elected.

And once again Ankh-Morpork gets off scot free.  I wonder why.