This is now normal

 

How can anyone talk for over ninety minutes without even inadvertently saying something true?

I was disappointed when Chief Corey Comperatore failed to attend, as promised by Official White House Press Secretary and Bottle Blonde No. 1 Karoline Leavitt on Fox & Friends.  Apparently he had a scheduling conflict, having died last July in the big assassination attempt on Donny's ear.  Remember when Joe Biden called out for a Congresswoman who had recently died in a car accident?  For a week we had to hear questions about his mental fitness on the very same show.  How old is Leavitt?

The Leader was very disappointed in the degree of loyalty expressed.  "I realize there is absolutely nothing I can say to make [Democrats] happy or to make them stand or smile or applaud," he lamented.  All right, that was true.  He even had Little Mikey eject those who expressed audible disapproval, which was mostly Rep. Al Green yelling, "You have no mandate."  A few other Democrats stayed away but so did most of his Supine Court.  Melanie Stansbury held up a small sign which the cameras probably couldn't pick up that said "This is not normal."  A Texas clown named Lance Gooden tore it from her hands before The Leader could be offended.  

Those who stayed away, like those of us who can't stand his Queens whine, didn't miss much.  Another weird mixture of blandishments and threats to Greenland.  Another lie about US aid to Ukraine.  Another lie (per Musk) about the "millions" of dead people getting Social Security payments.  And a promise to balance the budget -- what can I say?

Lying is contagious.  White House parking garage lawyer Alina Habba told NBC News that veterans fired by the DOGE kiddies are "not fit to have a job at this moment," suggesting that they don't even show up.  Rep. Wesley Hunt, a freshman liar from Texas, has become a full-time cheerleader for fascism, informing NBC News that mean old Canada started the tariff war and defending The Leader from his mistreatment at the hands of Zelensky.  But when it comes to crawling on one's belly, Hunt has no chance of catching up to Lindsey Graham, who described the yawp as "inspiring, funny, compelling, and the Democrats' worst nightmare" and called for a third term, the Constitution be damned.  The Leader may not have sent him chocolates, but he should have.

Al Green, now facing censure, is just another victim of the crackdown on dissent.  Derrick "The Drunk" Van Orden says people who show up at Republican town halls angry about anything are basically Nazis and Communists and should be prosecuted.  Lisa McClain was more specific, identifying well-known Nazi and Communist George Soros as their evil paymaster.  Andrew "Insurrection" Clyde wants to defund Washington unless Mayor Bowser changes the name of Black Lives Matter Plaza to something less incendiary, like Invisible Empire Boulevard.  

You know who else is a Communist today?  Ron DeSantis!  According to rapist and trafficker (allegedly) Andrew Tate, who was looking forward to relaxing in the Florida sunshine after The Leader got him released by Romania.  Instead the attorney general has opened a criminal investigation into him and his brother.  Does he not know how close they are to the Laird of Motel a Lago?  "The Tates will be free, Trump is president, the good old days are back," Tate wrote, before accusing DeSantis of persecuting him because he has thrown his "monumental political weight" behind Byron Donalds for governor (he's running against Casey DeSantis).  A rapist and misogynist who's also accused of money laundering and has a standing invitation to the Motel -- that's monumental, no question.  But Communist?  I do not think that word means what you think it means, as Inigo Montoya would say.

If The Leader has his way, the Tates' fellow trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell will be joining them at the next Motel a Lago puppy auction and barbecue.  Maxwell's advocate Jessica Reed Kraus has been given White House press credentials available to the select few who don't mind relaying Kremlin talking points.  This is a signal that Maxwell's name will appear on the Birthday Honors List of Convicted Felons alongside Pete Rose and Ross Ulbricht -- no, Ulbricht was on the New Year's Honors List and a guest of Thomas Massie last night.  A bit of The Mikado keeps going through my head:

Taken from the county jail by a set of curious chances

Liberated then on bail, on my own recognizances

Wafted by a favoring gale as one sometimes is in trances

So adventurous a tale that may rank with most romances...

Koko, a tailor condemned for flirting, goes on to describe how he found himself not only free but appointed Lord High Executioner.  It's operetta.  Nothing so absurd happens in life.  

The HHS response to the measles outbreak in Texas -- 159 cases, one death -- has been a festival of folk medicine, not-even-half measures, everything but science.  In the name of "restoring faith in government," whatever he thinks that means, Roadkill Bob's CDC is providing Vitamin A, cod liver oil, budesonide (a steroid) and an antibiotic, clarithromycin.  What, no leeches?  For these poor kids, mostly the children of religious fanatics and the secular uninformed, it's too late for the MMR vaccine which has been proven effective and safe since 1963.  I can't wait to find out how they plan to deal with avian flu, seasonal flu, covid's latest mutation and maybe Ebola.  Cod liver oil?  Are the kids constipated?

Thank you, Mr. Green.  Love the tie.  Now about those articles of impeachment...