Straighten up and fly straight

 "When you're rich they think you really know," sang Tevye as he ticked off the blessings of being a rich man.  People who know even less, or nothing, credit you with being some sort of stable genius.  As the song makes clear, Tevye knows it's nonsense, but not all rich men share his wisdom.

Elon Musk, who was born rich, has no way of filtering out the bullshit he reads on his social media platform.  One of his subscribers, Ryan Petersen, who runs a "global logistics" company called Flexport, just noticed that airlines don't always fly in a straight line.  He posted about it and Musk responded, "They should be."  I believe the expression is "as the crow flies," but crows seldom fly nonstop from San Francisco to Houston.  But the boss has spoken and Sean Duffy will have to get right on it.  To hell with the weather, the prevailing winds, even the curvature of the earth.  

Having handed off his duties to a richer (i.e. smarter) fascist, Scrooge McTrump has unlimited time to indulge his lifelong obsession with gold.  "We're going to go to Fort Knox, the fabled Fort Knox, to make sure the gold is there.  If the gold isn't there we're going to be very upset," he babbled, although there is no reason to think it isn't.  He just wants to look at it and touch it and feel something he hasn't felt since Stormy Daniels grabbed her clothes and fled the hotel room.  It's a field trip for the world's oldest toddler.  

Greenland and Canada can relax for now -- Donnie and his bizarre fantasies have moved on to Gaza, which is practically his.  There's an AI video that has to be seen to be -- no, it's still beyond belief.

I call fake!  McTrump does not drink beer.

American Express alert:  McTrump has stolen your idea.  Instead of the stinky old green card (permanent residence and damn hard to obtain), "We're gonna be selling a gold card.  You have a green card, this is a gold card.  We're gonna be putting a price on that card of about $5 million and that's going to give you green card privileges plus.  It's gonna be a route to citizenship and wealthy people will be coming into our country by buying this card.  They'll be wealthy and they'll be successful.  It's never been done before, anything like this."  

Give us your tired of paying taxes, your poorly educated, your swaddled masses longing to tie up their yachts at our passenger piers.  Your oil sheikhs, your Gazprom oligarchs, your Boer emerald miners, all the high-class people, very fine people.  Soon millions of white Christian Americans will compete for the chance to mow their lawns and raise their children and serve them in expensive restaurants because there won't be any other jobs for them.  MAGA!

McTrump has so much free time, he can spend his days golfing and his nights pixel-shitting.  He knows the ratings of every television show he hates and the importance of every exhibition game.  Tim Cook made the Motel a Lago pilgrimage last December but that didn't save him from wrath after the shareholders of Apple voted to maintain its HR policies:   "APPLE SHOULD GET RID OF DEI RULES, NOT JUST MAKE ADJUSTMENTS TO THEM.  DEI WAS A HOAX THAT HAS BEEN VERY BAD FOR OUR COUNTRY.  DEI IS GONE!!!" he screamed.  If one private corporation can defy him, the others may get ideas.  Eventually.  

DEI is really gone at MSNBC, which has made every non-white face disappear since November or bunched them together on "panels," all so the shell company that currently owns the channel can sell it for scrap and Comcast's merger with Time Warner Cable, Charter Communications, 21st Century Fox or all of the above won't be prevented.  Does it matter?  As Charlie Pierce writes today, "The whole cable news genre seems so completely useless in the face of what's actually happening that it seems the equivalent of covering World War II through what was happening on Jack Benny's radio show."  Of course, if MSNBC disappears there won't even be a foundation to build on when the conflagration is over.  

Looks like I picked the right day to quit the Washington Post and sniff glue instead.  "We are going to be writing every day in support and defense of two pillars:  personal liberties and free markets," writes owner Jeff Bezos.  "Viewpoints opposing those pillars will be left to be published by others."  A "broad-based opinion section that covers all views" will be left to "the internet."  How many knees does Bezos have to bend?  Is he an arachnid?  Keith Olbermann's response ("Fuck you, Nazi") seems a tad immoderate but I understand the impulse.

The F-bomb, "the one you save for the end of the argument," as George Carlin said long ago, is now the opening salvo, the first weapon to hand.  Like this exchange yesterday:  Reporter:  "If you could speak directly to Elon Musk, what would you say?"  Rep. Jasmine Crockett:  "Fuck off."  Well, yes.  

You never know what's going to trigger a MAGA.  Like the exchange between Rep. Maxwell Frost and the porcine apparition that chairs the House Oversight Committee.  As the name suggests they're supposed to oversee Musk's chainsawing of "waste" in the federal government, so Frost asked why they're not looking at "the complete grifter that is the President of the United States" (I think he meant Trump).  The chairman demanded he withdraw the remark because "decorum," since Margie Greene was not holding up a Hunter Biden dick pic at the moment.  "The member is barred from further participation," snorted Comer.  At least Frost wasn't arrested and hauled off by "private security" like Teresa Borrenpohl, whose crime was heckling the Kootenai County Republican Central Committee townhall in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.  Other people were also interrupting, but Borrenpohl is a known Democrat who has run in the district.  The "private security" probably had her picture.  More than $120,000 was quickly raised for her legal defense (charges have been dropped) and the police chief is moving to have the storm troopers' business license revoked.  In Idaho, that's a victory.

Republicans may have to stop holding town meetings altogether, according to NBC News, as they're attracting people who never thought Trump would cut their government programs or make their lives worse.  The plan is to put them on Zoom or "vet attendees" to avoid embarrassing video like the arrest of Ms. Borrenpohl.   No cameras, no media, no Democrats and no non-white people are other possibilities.  It's a good thing Trump restored free speech just in time.  Their free speech.

Attention DC residents:  Be on the lookout for this guy, under investigation by your local police for assaulting a woman in Washington.  The DoJ refused to issue an arrest warrant because reasons.  Among others, Speaker Mikey needed his vote to pass the first round of tax cuts 217-215.  The majority is so tiny, he won't let Elise Stefanik resign to go lie to the UN.  Mandates -- how do they work?  No, not a reference to Matt Schlapp.

Let's close with more aviation news.  To the astonishment of no one but babies and small animals, the FAA's contract for upgrading its information technology goes to -- SpaceX!  I guess their bid was the lowest and their presentation had cool sound effects.  Sorry, we're not allowed to know how much it will cost.  But isn't Starlink a great name?