It's on!

 

Take a look at these two emblems.  King Frederik X of Denmark has changed the royal coat of arms to the one on the right.  The polar bear and the ram, representing Greenland and the Faroe Islands, are more prominent and the two cavemen look younger and more determined.  In a speech last week the king spelled it out:  "We are all united and each of us committed to the kingdom of Denmark.  From the Danish minority in south Schleswig -- which is even situated outside the kingdom -- and all the way to Greenland.  We belong together."

A measured response to American aggression.  "Greenland is an incredible place, and the people will benefit tremendously if, and when, it becomes part of our Nation.  We will protect it, and cherish it, from a very vicious outside World.  MAKE GREENLAND GREAT AGAIN!"  

Do I have to identify the Prose Style?  The Leader-elect has sent Crown Prince Junior and Charlie Kirk to scope out the island and presumably identify a beach suitable for invasion.  This morning during a typically deranged "press conference" he refused to rule out using military force to acquire Greenland, the Panama Canal or anyplace else.  He doesn't explain how Greenlanders will "benefit tremendously" from a privatized medical system (probably with little or no reproductive choice), decades of debt instead of free K-college education, religious fanatics removing books from classrooms and libraries, fossil fuel-based climate change and a monarch whose fantasies are answerable to no one.  Do they want to be made "great again"?  Who cares what they want?

More to the point, what happens when two NATO members go to war?   Will the US have resigned from the organization by then?  (Putin:  "My work here is done.")  

The Leader-elect has big plans to re-make the world.  "We're going to be changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, which has a beautiful ring."  Sure, why not?  Like the Rio Grande, which Mexicans call Rio Bravo.  Name the Great Lakes after your spawn.  I wonder if his next item of MAGA schlock will be an atlas with everything re-named.  Printed in China, only $69.99.  The deluxe edition comes with a CD of the J6 Chorale singing an irony-free version of Randy Newman's "Political Science."  $299.99.

Apparently both Mexico and Canada are allowing "millions of people" and drugs into our country, which will somehow be prevented by tariffs.  (Do you think he believes tariffs are moats with poisonous snakes in them?)  "Mexico is really in trouble, a lot of trouble.  Very dangerous place, and we're going to be announcing at a future date pretty soon."  Clear?  

That evil yet senile Joe Biden was at it again, issuing a permanent ban on offshore drilling for 625 million acres.  "It's like the whole ocean.  Take an acre, you know, an acre, you have a house on half an acre, on a quarter of an acre or an acre.  If you have an acre you have a big deal.  Now you multiply that by 625 million acres.  It's like -- feels like the whole ocean."  Clear?  Not to worry, he's reversing it at once if not sooner and then "drill, baby, drill."  Offshore windmills cause cancer and make whales go crazy but offshore oil platforms -- no problemo.

He's still not happy with his water pressure.  Biden not only controls the weather, he controls the showers at Motel a Lago.  Clear?

He's very unhappy with the election.  Yes, the one last year.  "We won the popular vote by millions and millions of people!"  Actual number:  2,284,316 -- isn't that enough racist morons?  "And they're still counting in some areas.  Can you believe this?  What a place.  What a horrible place."  He means America, soon to be renamed Trumplandia.  A couple more rants like this and the first order of business will be Article 25, with President Couchfucker replacing President Rapist.