Hold on

Can you feel it coming in the air tonight?

Meanwhile, it's important to take some deep breaths, stay hydrated and turn off the cable news.  They don't know any more than we do.

There's plenty else to think about today.  For example, Tucker Carlson has been possessed by the ghost of Pat Robertson.  The increasingly unhinged Carlson told the permanently unhinged Steve Bannon that devastating hurricanes like Helene have nothing to do with climate change.  The culprit is abortion, or as he calls it, "human sacrifice."  God is pissed, the same God who demanded human sacrifice from Abraham and, according to Christians, sanctioned the sacrifice of his own son.  Yeah, that guy.

At least Carlson isn't speaking in tongues yet, unlike Joel Webbon.  He came up with "globohomo gay globalism" to describe the future if Christian nationalists fail to seize political power.  Seize, because democracy is no good -- it allows women to vote.  He permits his wife Ofjoel to vote only because she "concedes" it back to him and votes the way he tells her to.  Whatever you say, Joel.

This business of women voting has become more contentious as the most misogynistic election since 1920 approaches its end.  The Harris-Walz campaign only states fact when it reminds everyone that secret ballots are secret, but all MAGA can hear is "Lie to your husband!"  Julia Roberts narrated an ad with the words "What happens in the booth stays in the booth," and the red hats lost their minds.  Trump put his disappointment in the form of a threat, as he usually does when referring to women:  "She's going to look back at that and cringe that, did I really say that?...It doesn't say much for her relationship."  Roberts has been married to Daniel Moder for twenty-two years, so she's probably not looking for relationship advice from Trump.  Even funnier was Newt Gingrich, the man who served his wife with divorce papers as she recovered in the hospital from cancer surgery.  "What kind of a totally amoral, corrupt, sick system have the Democrats developed?" he spluttered.  "It is astonishing, the decay."  Pompeii meets Weimar Berlin, huh, Neuter?  Say, do you think men ever lie to their wives about, say, voting or hiding assets or where they went last Friday night?  Do you have a problem with that?  I didn't think so.

Speaking of rapists, remember Mike Tyson?  He was also heavyweight champion of the world before he decided he wanted to look like Queequeg.  Anyway, Trump was holding one of his intimate little rallies in Reading, Pennsylvania, when Tyson wandered into his mind as random people are wont to do.  "Put Mike in the ring with Kamala," somebody yelled, and Trump agreed that it was a fine idea ("that will be interesting").  When Harris stepped up and shook his hand before their debate Trump nearly jumped out of his shoes, but having someone else inflict violence on a five-foot-four-inch woman appealed to him.

Words, now, that's his style:  "She's a crooked person, she's a bad person, evil, she's an evil, sick, crazy bi---" and he broke off, a bitch too far.  No, not Harris, Nancy Pelosi, who pointed out his cognitive deficiencies.  "She's such a bad one.  She's already plotting a move to try and impeach him." Joe Biden?  "She's crazy as a bedbug.  She is a crazy."  Well, we can't all be Mental Hygiene Man of the Year.  At least he didn't call her "garbage."  That's the deal-breaker this week.

The news comes too late to change any minds but MAGA should know that Trump Media has outsourced coding and other technical jobs to Mexico, even as Trump threatens John Deere for doing the same.  He still doesn't get tariffs -- he never will.  He talks of putting a 25 percent tariff on random Mexican goods if Mexico doesn't stop the border crossings, which is hardly a priority -- stop people from leaving Mexico?  "I am going to inform [President Claudia Sheinbaum] on day one or sooner that if they do not stop this onslaught of criminals and drugs" blah blah.  Oh, good, another woman to vilify. 

Let Trump's last gasp in Grand Rapids stand for the whole.  "One hundred percent of the jobs that were created went to migrants, not people...Your Black population is being devastated by these people.  They're taking all the Black population jobs away."  And yet he gets compared to Hitler.

There was a flurry of last-day endorsements, for those in line at the polling place still thinking it over.  Joe Rogan and Patrick Mahomes's mother went for Trump, while Dick Van Dyke endorsed Harris, reading a speech by Rod Serling that he delivered at a civil rights event in 1964.  It looked like Van Dyke, 98, was the second-oldest Harris supporter after Jimmy Carter.  Then Lessie Benningfield Randle cast her vote in Tulsa.  Mrs. Randle is 109 and witnessed the Tulsa Race Massacre in 1921 when she was seven.  Kamala and Tim should invite her to their inauguration.

But nobody has more on the line than this guy, not even Trump:

Joey Mannarino is a podcaster who boasts half a million followers.  His auto da fe is exactly the right finale to a campaign marked by Lauren Boebert's visit to Palmdale, Margie Greene's fixation on Hunter Biden's genitalia and Trump's ode to Arnold Palmer.  You know what to do, Iowa.