Beautiful, white

 My father belonged to Local 3 of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (IBEW).  Call me sentimental, but every time the sound or the teleprompter blows up at a Trump rally I like to think one of his Brothers was responsible.  It makes me feel closer to him.  Keep attacking unions, dipshit.

It happened again in Milwaukee.  This could be our last chance to watch a major party's nominee for president mime fellating a microphone.  

Then it got weird.  Always the victim, he can't even get any sun.  "I could have been on the best beaches in the world.  I own the best beaches in the world.  I could have been in the great Turnberry in Scotland.  [Scotland is famous for its sun.]...That beautiful white skin that I have, I got the whitest skin because I never have time to go out in the sun.  I have that beautiful white.  It could have been beautiful tan."


One hundred forty-two games of golf between January 20, 2017, and November 8, 2020.  Cost to taxpayers:  $142 million.  Tan not in evidence.  But we're not talking about tanning, are we? 

Dr. Naomi Wolf is so proud of having eight books on the New York Times bestseller list that she incorporated it into her Xitter handle.  That's all you need to know about the author of Vagina:  A New Biography and The End of America:  Letter of Warning to a Young Patriot except that she is having a poltergeist problem:


You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Dr. Wolf!  We control the weather -- do you think we can't control your puny computer?  You must atone!

Louie Gohmert has seen the Truth.  He materialized on One America's Voice with a message about the Martians.  I'm sorry, that should be Marxists.  "There are some people, like the Marxists, they are kind of hoping that Trump will get elected so that they can create the chaos they've been trying to do for, you know, fifty, sixty years."  I'll take that as a Harris endorsement, Mr. Former Congressman.  Or are you pushing for chaos?  It was always hard to tell.

We previously reported that James Comer and his Comettes are investigating the White House's use of apostrophes in a transcript of Joe Biden's "garbage" statement.  Government oversight, you know.  Well, the attorney general of Arizona, Kris Mayes, is investigating Trump's use of violent rhetoric against Liz Cheney during a thing in Glendale.  She thinks it may qualify as a death threat under Arizona law, which would be ill-advised for someone already under criminal indictment if we had any kind of effective law enforcement in this country.  

Now we know why Trump's makeup was so odd during his garbage truck stunt -- Puerto Ricans can't keep their hands off him.  "Puerto Ricans love me because I was the president that stood up for them more than any other president."  Whenever they see him, they "give him a hug and a kiss," while the Secret Service stand there beaming.  Paper towels, those people love them.

You've seen MAGA in diapers and MAGA with sanitary pads taped to their ears -- get ready for MAGA in garbage bags.  Defiant and dopey as ever, MAGA have begun wearing trash bags because that mean Mr. Biden called them "garbage" (he didn't), a week after Trump referred to the country he loves so much as a "garbage can."  


I know I'm supposed to feel owned, but I keep thinking back to the grimmest days of the pandemic, so badly managed by the Trump administration that nurses were making their own PPE out of...


"The guy's a retard.  He's retarded.  I'll think that's what I'll start calling him," Trump proposed last June, only to be talked out of it by horrified minders.  He only used it in private to describe Joe Biden.  Steven Cheung says it's not true, so I believe it. 

J.D. Vance told Joe Rogan a fascinating yarn about The Day Trump Was "Shot," about how he "grabbed my kids up" (they were playing miniature golf), threw them in the car, went straight home (no Chuck E. Cheese for you!), loaded "all my guns" and stood at the door like a sentry.  Some story, huh?  I wonder why he waited three months to share it.  Again, no trace of the Secret Service we pay for.

The Scottish comedian Janey Godley has died of cancer at 63.  Before you get mad at me, know that in the UK c__t and t__t are gender-neutral expressions of contempt.



















 










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