Se non e vero e ben trovato

 Merriam-Webster translates the Italian saying as "If it's not true, it's well conceived."  It's why the couch joke is not going away, despite the scoldings of Jake Tapper, Bill O'Reilly, et al.  The latest iteration came from Rep. Dina Titus at the Harris-Walz rally in Las Vegas:   "I'm one of those miserable childless cat ladies, and old J.D. Vance apologized to my cat but he didn't ever apologize to me...You better hide behind that sofa because we're coming for you."

Fact:  J.D. Vance never said he fucked a sofa.  The story was thoroughly debunked within 24 hours.  But often, facts don't matter.  Think of Bengazi or Hunter Biden's laptop.  If someone started a rumor about Doug Burgum or Tom Cotton or even Ted Cruz -- hell, Trump himself -- screwing furniture, it would have gone nowhere.  But Vance is so creepy and inauthentic that people could picture it.  He's married with children but his persona screams "incel."  His visceral dislike of women as a group is such that he just might prefer intimacy with upholstery.  It's not true, but it's plausible.

C-SPAN viewers got a sociology lesson this morning that probably left some of them confused or incredulous, as Ann Coulter introduced the term "foundational Black."  You'll be astonished to learn that Kamala Harris is not.  As Coulter explained, civil rights laws, affirmative action and everything else she hates were designed to "make up for the legacy of slavery and Jim Crow."  Harris, who is only descended from people enslaved in Jamaica, has no business benefiting from any of it.  "What did we do to Indians?  We didn't enslave them.  They owe us, we don't owe them."  Coulter didn't specify what Indians "owe us."  Her point seems to be the same as Trump's, with a thin pseudo-intellectual veneer:  Harris is not really Black.  And anyway, white people are the real victims of hate and discrimination.  Coulter scoffed at the notion that Trump can appeal to Black voters "by being soft on crime."  She's not a racist, she just plays one on C-SPAN. 

Meanwhile on CNN, J.D. Vance was explaining to Dana Bash that it's Tim Walz who's weird because of how he behaved at the Philadelphia announcement rally.  "I gave my big speech and I saw my wife and I gave her a big hug and a kiss because I love my wife, and I think that's what a normal person does."  Walz "gave his wife a nice firm Midwestern handshake and then tried to sort of awkwardly correct for it."  That's what he took away from the speech?  Or has he heard too much of the news from Lake Wobegon?  To recap:  Walz doesn't wave right, he's a communist because he doesn't have a stock portfolio, he's the "enemy of the Italian American community" because he supported removal of Columbus statues, he's a Chinese spy, he never really served in the National Guard and he doesn't love his wife enough to tongue-kiss her in front of the whole country.  Did I miss anything?  Oh, yes, somebody thought he looks like Don Rickles.

The New York Times ran so many hit-pieces on Joe Biden, because he refused to submit to inquisition by their august editorial board, that I assumed they were a Trump asset.  And even the Times grudgingly called Walz "something of a walking bear hug."  Is that a smile, New York Times?  Just a little one?  Come on, I saw it!  

Is Trump mixing his drugs?  Did someone slip LSD into his ketchup?  It seems he's hearing voices.  (Cf. "many people are saying.")  In Montana he said, "I hear [Biden] is going to make a comeback at the Democrat [sic] Convention.  He's going to walk into the room and he's going to say 'I want my presidency back.'"  A cabal headed by Kamala Harris ousted Biden:  "It was a coup.  It was a coup that was the first coup in the history of our country and it was very successful."  If you want your listeners to believe January 6 was a happy tourist visit to the Capitol, maybe don't keep saying "coup."  

He can also see things no one else can.  Those huge crowds at Harris rallies don't really exist!  "Kamala CHEATED at the airport...There was nobody at the plane and she 'A.I.'d' it...She was turned in by a maintenance worker at the airport!" he raved.  "She should be disqualified because the creation of a fake image is ELECTION INTERFERENCE.  Anyone who does that will cheat at ANYTHING!"  Fake polls, fake crowds, and in three months fake votes, says the spray-tanned, hair-dyed, height-enhanced soon-to-be loser.  What am I saying?  At this rate he'll be in a straitjacket before Halloween.

If you want to know why a weary nation is embracing Kamala Harris and her politics of joy, this is as good an example as I can find.   Rebeca Andrade of Brazil won the gold medal in gymnastics for her floor routine, while Simone Biles (silver) and Jordan Chiles (bronze) bowed to her.  This, this is what the Olympics is supposed to be about, beyond all the commercialization, the politics, the backbiting and complaining and rancor from the likes of Daily Wire asshat Matt Walsh.  Walsh took this unrehearsed moment and twisted it to fit his own putrid little soul, pronouncing Biles "a horrendous bigot...a racist, and she owes America an apology."  No, you do, and we are so tired of you and your kind, we're flushing you out like a backed-up toilet this year.