Cannon law

 Aileen Cannon knows less about the law than I know about quantum mechanics, but her timing is impeccable.  Having decided weeks ago that she owed her Don a service, she waited until the carefully staged "assassination attempt" to announce that stealing classified documents, stashing them in a tacky bathroom and distributing them to the four winds is Not a Crime because the attorney general (Merrick Garland, in case you've forgotten) does not have the power to appoint a special counsel.  And with that astonishing news the case is CLOSED, all hearings are CANCELLED, pending deadlines are TERMINATED and the court prays that its patron soon recovers from his booboo, amen.   The only remaining question is what night Her Honor will address the congregation in Milwaukee.

A few weeks ago real judges in Florida were talking about ways to get the case away from her before she did something Alito-like.  I guess that discussion is moot, too.  It's the Saturday Night Massacre in reverse.  Lacking a judge as useless as Cannon, Nixon ordered his attorney general, Elliott Richardson, to fire the special prosecutor Archibald Cox for issuing a subpoena for the infamous White House tapes.  Richardson refused, as did his successor William Ruckelshaus.  Eventually Robert Bork accepted the contract job of firing Cox, which came back to haunt him when Reagan tried to put him on the Supreme Court.  Senators had long memories.  I feel certain Aileen will go on benefiting from the Peter Principle until she takes over the Judge Judy show.

So here we are at the top of the mountain, wondering where the hell the rock -- oh, wait, there it is.  Down there.  Again.

We now know that the Trump fist pump, a perfectly normal reaction to a near-death experience, was posed for use in a fundraising email headed FEAR NOT.  (Thanks, I'll try to calm down.)  If Biden had been shot he'd fundraise off that.  Also if another planet collided with this one.  Always Be Grifting.  

In times like these, we're lucky to have the Sunday politi-chat shows where our Elected Leaders can share their wisdom.  Ron "I Am, Too, Dumber Than Tuberville" Johnson, for example, knows why we're so divided and it's Critical Race Theory, which he could not define if the entire Packer line stood on his face.  Lindsey Graham shared a charming story about how he's so pleased Trump managed a round of golf yesterday.  Mike Johnson compared Trump to Lincoln on account of they're both so "polarizing," Tim Scott blamed "corporate media" and Mike Collins momentarily eclipsed Margie Greene as the most loathsome thing in Georgia by proclaiming, "Joe Biden sent the orders."  (His friends in the Kremlin agree.)  As for Mike "Mouse Turd" Johnson, well, he posted this on Xitter:

Tom of Finland on line one, Mr. Speaker.

Of course, the Usual Suspects are already being rounded up.  Readers of Carol Leonnig's Zero Fail know there were serious questions about the Secret Service as far back as 1963 (their worst fail ever) and that they had not been addressed by the time of the Obama administration.  Someone fired a gun into the White House and it wasn't even investigated until a housekeeper discovered broken window glass days later.  It seems there were sloppy procedures in this instance (could Trump have ordered the removal of the metal detectors as he did on January 6?), but the real problem is that the Secret Service director is one of them.  Yes, a woman, Kimberly Cheatle, yet another DEI hire.  Let the hearings begin.