Selected shorts

 The Gen Zs or whatever they're called will never believe that for over a year, the most divisive issue in this country was O.J. Simpson -- innocent or guilty?  It was a simpler time.

I logged onto the 'net and read, "Try Microsoft Editor to help improve your spelling, grammar, punctuation, and style."  That last comma can go for a start.

This is how you deal with fraud:  Truong My Lan, a 68-year-old real estate tycoon, was sentenced to death by a Vietnamese court for embezzlement.  She also received twenty years for bribery and must pay a fine of $27 million.  Judge Merchan?

Flying is getting shittier.  Last year a Delta flight from Atlanta to Barcelona was forced to return because of a passenger's diarrhea.  In March a United flight made an emergency landing because of an overflowing toilet.  Yesterday another United flight from Houston to Seattle had to land in Dallas after a passenger's dog crapped all over First Class.  Of course, it could be worse.  A Boeing engineer named Sam Salehpour says the fuselages of the 787 Dreamliner are improperly fastened and could come apart in flight.  It kind of puts the shit in perspective.

Since Arizona is relying a law from 1864 and the anti-choice mob wants to use the 1873 Comstock Act, maybe it's not good policy to remind the Flying Alitos that women have only had the vote since 1920.

Montecito, California, screams exclusivity.  In addition to Oprah and the Sussexes, it's home to a hot spring which residents want to keep for themselves.  The county wants to enlarge the nearby parking lot and the homeowners (more likely their groundskeepers) have responded by piling boulders in the way.  What's the point of spending $7.2 million for a house (on average) if Joe and Jane Scratchcard can just drive up in their Hyundai and splash around in your private water?

Wanted:  Individual fluent in English and Japanese with absolutely no interest in gambling or sports.  Ippei Mizuhara has agreed to plead guilty to stealing $4.5 million from Shohei Ohtani and using it to satisfy gambling debts.  The Dodgers are paying Ohtani $700 million over the next ten years so he didn't miss it at first.

Mixed news for the Cheney family of Wyoming:  A board member of the Gerald Ford Foundation resigned in protest when it refused to give the Gerald R. Ford Medal for Distinguished Public Service to Liz Cheney, fearing the wrath of Trump.  Meanwhile, after saying that Trump must not be re-elected, John Bolton promised to vote for Dick Cheney, demonstrating that he has no understanding of electoral politics.

"Astrology influencer and recording artist" Danielle Cherakiyah Johnson must have been doing well, as she drove a Porsche Cayenne and lived in Woodland Hills, California.  Her website was replete with astrological predictions, anti-vaccine conspiracy theories and the obligatory antisemitic rants, so her neighbors were shocked when she apparently stabbed her partner, threw her two children from the car on I-405 (the baby died) and drove into a tree at high speed.  She may have been triggered by the eclipse.  One neighbor described her as "standoffish."

The list of the world's happiest countries is out!  Finland wins again, followed by Denmark, Iceland, Sweden, Israel, the Netherlands, Norway, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Australia, New Zealand, Costa Rica, Kuwait, Austria, Canada, Belgium, Ireland, the Czech Republic, Lithuania and the United Kingdom.  As Timothy Snyder noted in Our Malady, people feel freer and more confident if they know a single medical emergency won't throw them into bankruptcy or homelessness.  Try harder, USA.