Nice people

 

I give up.  I've read this twice and I can't decide if it's meant seriously or as a satire of the Flat Earth wing of QAnon.  The clearest hint is that Dom Lucre appears to be a Klingon, albeit one with the very exclusive blue checkmark of Xitter authenticity.  Those Masonic and other groups performing sound like a version of Burning Man you should probably avoid.

Once we get past The Eclipse I'm sure things will return to normal, at least until the big cicada event touches off another outbreak of Biblical frenzy.  Enraged that the Biden campaign raised $26 million in a three-president extravaganza in New York last week, Trump summoned some rich people to Palm Beach and claims to have taken $50.5 million from them.  Twice as much!  Nya nya!  Then he treated them to an old favorite, Where Are the Nice White People?  "When I said 'Why can't we allow people to come in from nice countries,' I'm trying to be nice.  Nice countries, you know, like Denmark, Switzerland.  Do we have any people coming in from Denmark?  How about Switzerland?  How about Norway?"  The white Florida rich people "chuckled," said the New York Times.  Then he scared them, describing how the Shithole Countries people "have been shipped in, brought in, deposited in our country, and they're with us tonight.  In fact I don't think they're on this island, but I know they're on that island right there.  That's West Palm...but eventually they'll be here."  Is there nowhere safe? wondered the rich people, clutching their wallets.  Could Evalina murder us in our beds instead of serving our breakfast?  What if Alfonso backs the Beamer over little Stanleigh?  And then they coughed up another million.

Always close with a big laugh:  Joe Biden "soiled" the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office.  Because he's old!  Thank you, try the veal.

Trump is desperate to postpone the Stormy Daniels trial scheduled to start a week from today and has resorted to a favorite tactic.  His attempts to goad Judge Merchan into enforcing the gag orders with a custodial sentence failed, even after he proclaimed, "If this Partisan Hack wants to put me in the 'clink' for speaking the open and obvious TRUTH, I will gladly become a Modern Day Nelson Mandela."  Now he's suing the judge, presumably for having a daughter whose company works for Democrats.  It's entertaining, anyway.  How long would Donnie Bonespurs have lasted on Robben Island?  Lunchtime?

One thing modern-day Mandela doesn't do well is basic electoral politics, balancing one-issue groups against each other.  For weeks he has tried to come up with a position on abortion that pleases the fanatics as well as the voters who got reproductive choice on the ballot in places like Florida, a move which suddenly put his home state in play.  (Americans support access to abortion by crazy numbers.)  His refusal to support a fifteen-week federal abortion ban has angered the forced-birthers of the hilariously named Susan B. Anthony Pro-Life America, and they aren't impressed by his boasts of having packed the Supreme Court to destroy Roe.  At this point he's saying it's an issue for the states, but he supports IVF.  The He-Man Woman Hater dance is trickier than the tango.

The next front in the Right's war on women appears to be surrogacy.  Trumpanzee Michael Knowles calls it "grave child abuse" and calls for all those involved to be imprisoned for life, the same position expressed in "Project 2025," a/k/a Unser Kampf.  IVF is also equated with rape.  How about adoption?  Anyone have a problem with adoption?

The Trumpization of the RNC is going as well as expected, with multiple staffers being fired while others quit.  Some objected to loyalty tests like "Do you believe the 2020 election was stolen?"  Others refuse to move from Washington to Palm Beach and live in the sinister sounding "Trump Village" even temporarily.  Nothing like a major purge of talent and experience as you prepare to go to war.  Ask the Red Army in the spring of 1941.

I was enjoying the sermon that Margie Greene's boyfriend Brian Glenn left on Xitter about all the end-times what-not (earthquake, eclipse, locusts, Freemasons) and thinking about what a glamorous couple they make.  "And then throw in Joe Biden wanting to get into a war with Iran for whatever reason he wants to do that."  Huh?  The guy who's in Madison, Wisconsin, talking about canceling student debt?  That's an odd way to go to war.  Could he be referring to Israel's attack on the Iranian consular office in Damascus?  Brian knows Netanyahu did that and not Biden.  I scoffed at his other prophecies.  But that was before I saw this:

They look like jellyfish but they're really smoke rings above Mt. Etna in Sicily.  "When hot volcanic gases are released suddenly from the vent in a short pulse, the gases rush upward and create a cloud not unlike plane contrails," says accuweather.com.  Sure, and I am Marie of Romania.  Still more signs and wonders, right, Brian?  Probably telling you and Margie to repent for your steamy middle-aged passion and return to your respective spouses.  

Bernie Sanders has taken so many unpopular positions, it's hard to tell which one(s) got his Burlington office set on fire yesterday.  Amateur arsonist Shant Soghomonian was caught by a security camera dousing the senator's door with an accelerant and igniting it with a lighter while staff members worked inside.  We may know more after his arraignment.

Mike Turner (R-OH) chairs the House Intelligence Committee, so he is in a position to know when his fellow Republicans are spreading Russian propaganda.  "...We see, directly coming from Russia, attempts to mask communications that are anti-Ukraine and pro-Russia messages," he told CNN, echoing Michael McCaul (R-TX), chair of the Foreign Affairs Committee.  

Meanwhile the Washington Post -- they get lucky sometimes, as Agent K tells Agent J -- details frantic Russian efforts to undermine American support for Ukraine through social media posts, fake news stories, and the promotion of fear about border security, the economy and racial tensions.  There's not much in the story by Catherine Belton and Joseph Menn that we didn't know, but now we have the documents.  One of them calls Truth Social the only way to spread lies "without censorship," which will dismay Elon Mush.  But will it save DJT, currently trading for the price of a (good) ham sandwich?

Marking the thirtieth anniversary of the Tutsi genocide, President Paul Kagame of Rwanda blamed the international community for failing to stop the killing of more than 800,000 people.  The event was attended by Bill Clinton, who was president of the United States then, and Isaac Herzog, who is president of Israel now.  I wonder what they talked about at lunch.