Who the hell is Jason Palmer?

 In a stunning upset Jason Palmer defeated Joe Biden in the Democratic primary in American Samoa by 51 votes to 40.  They split the territory's six delegates.  Palmer never visited Samoa, so clearly this was a referendum on Biden's age.  Also, Samoa does not participate in the general election because the US is not a democracy and no one has ever decided how many electoral votes it should have.  So if you see three Samoans at the convention wearing Jason Palmer hats, smile and ask them how they like Chicago.

Not much else happened yesterday except that Nikki Haley and Dean Phillips faced the inevitable.  Haley is hesitating to endorse Trump in the hope that, as one Republican voter in South Carolina phrased it, he chokes on a sandwich.  Mitch McConnell has already bowed down to the man who called him "a piece of shit" and enjoys calling his wife "Coco Chow."  Nikki Haley won the District of Columbia primary and holds a narrow lead in Vermont, so I suppose those voters are also pieces of shit.  

Adam Schiff won the California primary and now gets to run against former baseball player Steve Garvey.  I can't find any of his positions other than first base, and an impressive lifetime average of .294.  The Senate hasn't had a major leaguer since Jim Bunning and doesn't need another.

The following dialogue took place today on Fox's morning show Two Foul Balls and a Miss:  KILMEADE:  You have to come up with $400 million.  How close are you to securing the bond?  TRUMP:  I have a lot of money.  I can do what I want to do.  KILMEADE:  So you're not worried about the money?  TRUMP:  I don't worry about money.  

That's because he had a PLEASE, OH PLEEEEASE! meeting Sunday with Elon Musk, an actual billionaire despite his Three Stooges-level management of Xwitter.  They have so much in common (rich fathers, bottomless self-regard, racism) that Mr. Musk will surely lend him a few million to keep those greedy bitches Letitia James and E. Jean Carroll off his back.  At a very reasonable rate of interest.

We haven't heard much about the gentlelady from Georgia during the recess but she was in typical form during an interview with podcaster Emily Maitlis.  Asked about her signature conspiracy theory, the "Jewish space lasers," she politely replied, "Why don't you go talk about Jewish space lasers?  And really, why don't you fuck off, how about that?"  And that will have to hold us until Margie reveals her SOTU costume tomorrow night.  


Alfred Eisenstaedt's best-known photograph of Greta Friedman being kissed by sailor George Mendosa on VJ Day in Times Square has set off another squabble.  RimaAnn O. Nelson, assistant undersecretary for health operations at the Department of Veterans Affairs, sent a memo last Thursday ordering it removed.  Friedman says the kiss was unexpected, and her body language certainly suggests it was unwelcome.  But in a 2012 interview she called it "a wonderful coincidence...and a great photographer at the right time."  Don't worry, Nelson's memo has been overruled by DVA Secretary Denis McDonough.  The "woke mob" won't steal our history!  The photo is still on display.  Now stand down, culture warriors, and get ready for the next battle.







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