I hate February
...for all kinds of reasons which need not concern anyone else. This year they added another day but we survived anyway and it's March. Vernal equinox, J.S. Bach's birthday and all manner of other good things are around the corner. So let's clear out some of the cobwebs.
Remember when John Fetterman described Lauren Boebert's trashy behavior at a matinee of Beetlejuice as "grabbing the hog," which gave us all a colorful Pennsylvania euphemism for manual stimulation? (I don't imagine he learned it at Harvard, or even UConn.) He must be experiencing that most exasperating of conditions, Democrat's Remorse. Now he's denouncing "recreational cruelty" and calling for "restraint" in response to Tyler Boebert's arrest: "This is a family in crisis." If only the materfamilias hadn't tweeted that very day GOP BS about the "Biden Crime Family." Irresistible. We're only human, Senator. By the way, you can wear whatever you want. You have permission from Chip Roy because you favor most of HR 2, the Republican border bill. Congratulations.
Republican family values were also in evidence as the House Oversight Committee continued its persecution of Hunter Biden, a private citizen whose father happens to be president. Matt Gaetz asked point-blank, "Were you on drugs when you were on the Burisma board?" But nobody took up HB's challenge to investigate Jared Kushner and the $2 billion dollar "investment" he got from Saudi Arabia's sovereign wealth fund. How dare you, etc. Last October Markwayne Mullin told CNN that Gaetz bragged about taking erectile dysfunction drugs "so he could go all night," which may be why Biden pointedly asked, "Of all the people sitting around this table, do you think that's appropriate to ask me?" No response from the Big Giant Head, of course.
The good guys are losing their minds today because John Hee-Haw Kennedy "compared" Biden to an STD. No, he really didn't. He said, "If you believe the polls the president is polling right up there with chlamydia." As in, they're both unpopular. Not quite the same thing, but Kennedy is smart enough to know what comments will go viral even if most of his constituents think chlamydia is a flowering shrub.
Joe Biden had a physical last week and was pronounced "fit for duty." (Last summer he underwent a root canal under local anesthesia, and the story should have been "eighty-year-old man still has his own teeth!" but wasn't.) Dr. O'Connor's assessment didn't please Ronny Jackson, who called it "a complete joke" because it didn't include a cognitive exam. He took to Xwitter to rage, occasionally in ALL CAPS like his most famous patient, about an exam he did not participate in. Medical ethics have never been a consideration for the drunk who gets arrested at rodeos and passed out amphetamines like M&Ms in the White House.
I've been searching for a quotation attributed to Sam Goldwyn, something like "If the people don't want to come, you can't stop them." (I found an eerily prescient one, "I want to make a picture about the Russian secret police -- the GOP.") On the other side of the world people with no voice are voting today with their bodies. In Moscow the heavily policed funeral of Alexei Navalny drew thousands of mourners who chanted "No to war" and "Putin is a murderer" as they marched from the Quench My Sorrows church to the Borisovsky cemetery where -- I love it -- the coffin was "lowered into the ground to the strains of Frank Sinatra's 'My Way.'" Meanwhile in Iran's parliamentary election, only 27 percent of eligible voters turned out even after the deadline was extended by two hours. Apparently "go fuck yourself" was not on the ballot.
As Senator Kennedy might say, Gavin Newsom is polling right up there with pubic lice, and some Republicans want to spend millions of dollars on another recall attempt. The last one failed in 2021. I guess it's easier than finding a Republican who can defeat him. They don't have any more moderates like Schwarzenegger.
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