Smart

 The House of Representatives tried to expel George Santos (R-Munchausen) today and failed, with 31 Democrats joining 182 Republicans to prevent the two-thirds majority that would have been necessary.  Jamie Raskin said it would set "a terrible precedent," as Santos has neither been convicted of the many felonies for which he is indicted or found wanting by the House "Ethics" Committee.  He said that with a straight face, as if leaving Santos around Republican necks like an albatross never entered his mind.  Rob Menendez (D-NJ), son of similarly indicted Senator Bob Menendez, was also among the 31, as was Rashida Tlaib (D-MI), who many would love to expel for being openly Palestinian.  

In other House news, the discourse was not quite so elevated.  A motion to censure Tlaib was the work of Margie Greene and was too dumb even for 23 Republicans to support -- the election-denying Greene accused Tlaib of leading a January 6-style "insurrection" when some demonstrators she addressed about the Gaza war entered a House office building, where they were arrested.  When Chip Roy (R-TX) objected she snapped, "Oh shut up, Colonel Sanders, you're not even from Texas, more like the DMV," apparently a reference to Washington.  Another message complained about "CNN wannabe Ken Buck" and "vaping groping Lauren Boebert" throwing her out of their Freedom Caucus.  Margie, when you're too crazy for the Freedom Caucus...never mind, keep working on your Trump impersonation.

With Daddy glowering at them, Junior and Eric couldn't remember a thing about the financial doings of the Trump Organization.  Did it even file tax stuff with the state of, let's say, New York?  What business is it in?  Who is this Trump?  For what it's worth, they're still in the will.  Next, Ivanka will enact a case of amnesia not seen since Random Harvest.  Nobody knows nothin'.

Speaking of mob bosses, Abby Phillip of CNN snagged an interview with the largely forgotten Ben Carson, who must think he's in the will, too.  Asked by Phillip for evidence that the Justice Department has been "weaponized" against Trump, the brain surgeon replied, "Al Capone, who was a notorious killer, had one indictment and Donald Trump has four indictments.  That would tell you something right there."  (Capone was indicted on income tax evasion.  Murder is a state crime.  Sign my petition to keep doctors and football coaches out of government.)

"How dumb can we be, man?" Senator Dan Sullivan (R-AK) shouted as he, Joni Ernst, Lindsey Graham and Todd Young (R-IN) staged a long-needed intervention of Tommy Tuberville (R-Dumbfuck).  It was precipitated when General Eric Smith, commandant of the Marine Corps, suffered a heart attack and there was no one to take over on account of Coach Shitforbrains don't like the DoD's pro-choice policies.  Sullivan called his grandstanding "a national security suicide mission," adding, "Xi Jinping is loving this.  So is Putin."  Perhaps he should have told Coach who they are and why this is a bad thing.  There were at least 23 attacks on US bases in Iraq and Syria by Iran-backed militias over the two weeks ending October 30.  Coach told Newsmax that Democrats "created" the wars in Ukraine and Gaza, so Sullivan, et al., will have to shout louder and longer.

(A few minutes ago the Senate confirmed Admiral Lisa Franchetti as Chief of Staff of the Navy, General David W. Allwin as head of the Air Force, and Lt. General Christopher Mahoney as No. 2 at the Marine Corps.  Coach can pound sand.)

It is time for a moratorium on ignorant references to World War II.  Looking at you, Florida Man Brian Mast.  "I would encourage the other side to not so lightly throw around the idea of 'innocent Palestinian civilians' as is so frequently said.  I don't think we would so lightly throw around the term 'innocent Nazi civilians' during World War II."  Has anyone ever used that term?  If so, it must have been an idiot who thought all Germans belonged to the National Socialist Party, and probably that all Soviet citizens belonged to the Communist Party.  Just because your state has been forbidden to teach actual American history in the past couple of years is no excuse for a grown idiot like you to believe such nonsense, Brian.  Brian's point is that all Palestinians are terrorists and the hell with them.  Fox News place-filler Jesse Watters went a step farther last night.  Speaking on behalf of "the West," he declared, "We've had it with them," meaning all Arabs and the Muslim world, a cool billion people or so.  "Our technology" made them rich, according to Watters, and they're just -- ungrateful.  Funny, that's what Trump is always saying about American Jews who vote for Democrats.  This corner of The West has had it with Watters and Mast and Trump and every other dildock who presumes to speak for me.  Just shut up.  Go read a book.

Since the war in Gaza began twenty-seven days ago, thirty-one journalists have been killed, four of them in Israel.  It's less dangerous to be a journalist in Alabama but not much.  The publisher and a reporter for the Atmore News in Escambia County were arrested for publishing leaked information about a grand jury investigation into payments by the school board to former employees.  Leaking grand jury proceedings is illegal, reporting them is not.  This sort of thing is on the rise as authorities seek to scare journalists away from doing their jobs, especially in small towns.      

The stupid, it hurts.  Here's a picture of a rare white platypus that someone came across in New South Wales.  I stared at it for five minutes and I feel less rage-y.  Try it.

Oh my god that's it.  That's who Mike Johnson reminds me of.  Lowell Lee Andrews from In Cold Blood.  The nicest boy in Kansas.  The one who killed his whole family.

I need more platypus.